I have really been working on being a better catholic. Church takes like an hour a week so I figure that's a start. I must say I normally feel very relaxed after church. It's a bit freeing to go and pray and leave everything in Gods hands. I think I am giving myself anxiety because I have been unable to do that fully.
I want answers. I want to know why this road I've chosen has been so bumpy. I have a horrible time with it especially because I know I'm not gonna find a resolution just by asking. God works in mysterious ways and those ways don't generally come out and present themselves.
All that being said there was one thing about church that really made my day. I wish I could say it was something I it out of the readings or the homily but this was actually none of those things. I was in the back of church surrounded by families. Of course I circle aroun and offer peace to any one who will have it when that time comes. Probably ten minutes later the father behind me taps me on the shoulder. I thought maybe my purse was knocked over or I was in his way or something. But instead he leaned forward and asked me to give his daughter a handshake for peace. Apparently she had wanted to shake my hand all mass and was upset that she didn't get a chance to. It was so innocent and adorable, that it made me feel the best I've felt in weeks. I've lost tons of weight, rejected exboyfriends, and gotten many kudos at work and yet this simple thing was what got me. What an amazing thing.
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