Pass it on...

There is something funny about my blog... every time I write in it, I think of my old roommate Chantal. Part of this may be because she was at a time my sole follower, but also her articulate blog is probably another factor. Anyways, this blog might be ironic due to the fact that it will largely be about my current boyfriend and my last blog was all about my happy singledom. It was also feature chantal. soooo...

As I stated before, last semester was not my best. A lot of shit went down. And normally I do not like swearing on a public forum, but all in all what happened to me was a lot of shit and I probably think of another word if I wanted to try, but I feel that shit is just appropriate at this time. Anyways, shit went down. I lost a part of me. I could not find a part of myself and I honestly was this hollow shell, a fire that had been blown out. I confided some of this shit in Chantal. She stressed how I needed to turn to God in my time of need (very Footprints of her) And at the time I appreciated the sentiments, but I fully thought He was somehow to blame. Just as I am in life, in my relationship with God I know He will always be there so sometimes I put the blame on him instead of others, the situations, or even myself. You can ask any of my friends (including Chanty) when times get tough I usually do not take it out on those who had made it tough, but rather those who I know will take it. Those who won't fight me about it but will stick with me when it is all over. God is the same way. I literally forgot/gave up on him for a couple months (which is pretty stupid when you are going into surgery) but I found my way.


The interesting thing about that is who made me find my way. I have come to the realization that I am pretty stubborn. along with that it usually takes someone I do not know that well to tell me when I am being dumb about something. Twice in my life I have had new boyfriends make me realize how to fix major things in some personal relationships. This is the point of this blog. my new boo (dreamy oline guy from west point... who definitely acts both as an officer, almost, and a gentleman... all the time)lit my fire again. He brought me back to life in some sense. Yes my friends were working on it..they were stacking the wood, gathering kindle, all that jazz. They were setting it all up for him. I am not saying that I am going to spend the rest of my life with him (even though at this point that sounds wonderful) but I will say that he is mending all my cracks. He encouraged me to go back to church and even though he is far away I still feel a good kind of pressure to do so. (my parents also encouraged it, but as I said before I am more likely to do it if it isnt advised by someone who knows me too well.)

What also is interesting is the conversation that made me decide to write this blog. My boyfriend, the one that encouraged me to go back to church, lost a friend yesterday. He then came to me saying he was questioning God. Now had this been last semester I would have been on the same page as him. I would have probably brought his faith down to even less. But alas, God gave me Jordan and thus I had been gradually restored and able to be there for Jordan right now. I talked to him about how God gave me him. I told him about God also gave me Chantal and my old bible study... this reminded me of one of our bible study sessions in which we talked about how there have been sooo many countless times when we have randomly opened our bible and it was always to a page that applied to us. I encouraged Jordan to do the same. He did and what do you know? The page he opened to was addressing questioning God and his existence. I think this is a blatant act of God that He is listening and there for Jordan. Then I remembered the other thing Chantal talked to me about.. she told me to read Romans 5: 1-5. Now if you have never read this or are unfamiliar, here is is

"1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. "

WHOA... Powerful stuff! I know. I LOVE THIS PASSAGE. I never realized the strength of it. Then I watched Jordan read it and he looked up at me, started nodding and all of a sudden had a big a grin on his face. I am not gonna pretend that all of a sudden his faith was fully restored, but I know (I repeat) I KNOW that he felt a little closer to God because this was what he needed. That being said I would again like thank Chantal for passing this passage to me. I also would like to encourage people to share their favorite passages with others. I really think that no quote or saying can be quite as complete and filling as a bible passage. But let's be real people... how great is our God that He could bring me Chantal? Bring me Jordan? Bring Jordan me? and have Jordan "magically" open to a passage that he needed to see. I just think that there is no way not to believe. Have faith and God bless.