So I have never been the type to love being in a relationship. I don't sit around wishing for a boyfriend. Nine times out of ten, I would rather be single then be forced to limit my flirtations/attention to one guy. Now this could be because I haven't found the "right" one or whatever. Or this could just be because I am extremely happy being single and I am quite content in this aspect of my life.
Now to address my one out of ten times that I do care. When I am at home my family can be so extremely obnoxious that it makes sense that I only see them twice a year. I love them to death, I really do, but every single part about being home revolves around the couples in our family. IS THAT NECESSARY? No. Not at all. My twin sister is 22 and engaged... is that necessary... no. Do I think she is in love? Yes. Do I think her choices in life are anything like mine? NO. And yet every time I come home my parents and siblings try to pressure me into locking down a man. I have all the confidence in the world that I could lock down whatever man I wanted... they just can't lock me down. I have too much to learn, too much to experience, and too much that I need to do for me first. I am not saying that if someone perfect swept me off my feet tomorrow that I would blow him off and tell him to wait, but I damn well would not rush into anything until I knew what I wanted from my life instead of just living in someone else's footsteps.
My family just does not understand where I am coming from... I actually wish I had someone with me to deal with them. I hate that they make me feel that way. Some examples of how this is: They all play a tennis tournament with their significant other as their pair partner. Since I don't have a partner I get to stay home and clean with my mom. Another thing, they expect me to buy presents for their boyfriend/girlfriend/fiance/whatever. HA... really? I can't afford to buy my best friends presents and you expect a gift from me because you are boning my brother/sister? I get that these are the people they want to spend the rest of their life with, but what if I don't want to be forced into spending the rest of my life with them? What if my friends really are my soulmates? And if not... if sometime down the road I meet someone or I fall in love or whatever... then thats fine, but right now I know then when it comes to spending a New Years Eve in downtown Atlanta with all the couples kissing at midnight or spending it out with my single girls in Dallas being ridiculous there is no question on which sounds more appealing. I am sick of the guilt trip I get every time I supposedly choose my friends over my family. Well if my family was just my blood family maybe the choice would be more difficult. AND do not get me wrong, I love my sisters' fiances and my brother's girlfriend but there is only soo much PDA that I can handle.
Along with all of this, I AM SO SICK OF MY MOTHER TRYING TO SET ME UP. She literally told me today that "I need to find a nice guy in Atlanta so I will want to come back." I am sorry, Mom, but I do not want to live in Atlanta. I would like a guy I find myself and you picking someone out literally creeps me out. I have wayy too many guys on my own. Ask my friends. I am not trying to be cocky or ridiculous about it, but guys are troublemakers and I do not really need them. The last thing I want to complain about that my mother does is try to set me up with guys in my life. I have two guy FRIENDS that both mean a lot to me. My mother fully believes that eventually I will be with one of them which depresses me for two reasons: 1. really? after I have known them all this time eventually I am going to settle? and 2. I want to be sexually attracted and I just don't see it with these two. Needless to say... if my mom tries to force an arranged marriage on me one more time I will not, I repeat, I will not be at either of my sisters weddings.
Okay all of that being said... my siblings/parents are giving me hell about choosing to book an earlier flight and come home for the bowl game. I have had the worst semester ever and I wanna come to Dallas early to situate myself and get schoolwork done and somehow that's a bad thing? Really if someone can explain to me how my siblings getting into a screaming fight with me over it would make me want to stay please explain it.
I could go on and on about this so I am just going to stop now... but really... not okay.
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