Singledom

So of late I have been really feeling the fact that I am single. I pack so much into my schedule that when I have free time I just really wish that I had someone to spend it with. I love my friends a TON, but this summer I really feel I have had too much time just with the girls. There actually is too much girl time. Every free second I have, my female friends expect me to spend with them. It may sound horrible, but I need to testosterone in my life. I love boys. I love attention from boys. I love being friends with boys. Even spending a night with my gay friend George was refreshing compared to hearing of all the woes in my female friends lives. It feels like a constant "blah, blah, blah boys are bad and do you wrong." No wonder these friends are not in particularly healthy or committed relationships... Deciding that someone will hurt you before you even get to know them is not promising for your future. I know sometimes all girls can be negative nancys with complaints about getting their heart broken or the bad timing on things or "if he just lived here or I just lived there." Lets face it... if its not meant to work out, it simply does not happen. One thing we ALWAYS talked about in bible study was how God has a plan and we need to not try to control it.

That being said, I do not feel people can control it with online dating and what not. Maybe I am just skeptical. I am not sure, but it just doesnt seem natural to me. I do not judge anyone for online dating (yes there was a time when I did, but nowadays it seems so common) I just wonder if its kinda forcing things. Like if two people finally decide that they are ready for something real they just log in..? I got one of those email things to try out one free for seven days and it seemed like it was just full of creepy older guys trying to contact me.
I guess I just believe that fate(read: aka God's Plan) has more for me and each of us then an online dating site. I do not doubt that some people have that as the easiest solution to their singledom, but since when was it a problem to be alone? Or for that matter not alone but rather not in a relationship. I am definitely not dating anyone and yet I find that I never get a second to myself (save those precious moments alone with my sansaclip and Katy trail)

I hope the best for all of those who do choose that path and I am sure that for many it works out well. I just do not want people to use it as a crutch to not venture out of the house and talk to someone new. When I contemplate this stuff I cannot help but think about my coach "say hi to someone you don't know" It could change your life (and from what it looks like save you a little hard earned cash)

new blog

So I feel like it has been quite some time since I have written anything at all. Like facebook posts and quick emails do not count. Then I was reading my fabulous exroomie Chantals wonderful blog and it made me do this. She has had hers for a while and it is just extremely interesting to see when people choose to write and what they have to say. I could not help but wonder who all reads them, and what they think. That being said, I am having a debate on whether publishing my blog link anywhere would even make sense. I feel like I am the type of person who will get on here and whine or bitch and moan. Why would someone want to read that? I just like getting it out there. Sometimes I wish I was like my current roommate who has a diary (although I am pretty sure it is just for her sexual exploits) I really would like to just express my feelings openly. I love my friends to death, but sometimes you just wanna say something and not get reactions. Like if I tell a story, sometimes I do not want input on what the person I told it to thinks I should do. I know that is ridiculously selfish, but its just frustrating trying to explain what is going on in your head when you are even unclear about it all. Funnily enough, I once had a xanga type deal... which i reread the other day... all I did was use it to post dumb quizzes about myself. what a waste! I am sure that I will have more to say later, but I just wanted to explain my purposes for this blog and now I will do something else (my head is pounding, so maybe more sleep?)